drops em dead with a blink...

sitting here at midas getting my long overdue inspection done.the joys of having a seasonal car..

..smell of cigarette smoke and gasoline mixed with the old coffee that looks like tar stuck to the pot.old men and their scruffy faces darkened and wrinkled by hardwork,grease and oil in the creases of their weathered skin...needless to say, i can't wait to get out of here! in the meantime, back to the Little's story...

January 7,2010..our 10 month wedding anniversary.the day i had emotions soaring with a new found thought of a possible pregnancy..i would not believe it until i got the paper with my blood test results. i had a urologist appointment that day. driving out to monroeville, sitting in the waiting room, trying to pay attention to all the elderly men and women telling me stories of their failing kidneys and children who never have the time to visit or call.. whatever happened that day was a whirlwind that i sat and watched fly by. i couldn't think of anything but the excitement of that morning.. i made dr.costa aware that i may be pregnant and if i was, had questions about what my IC issue would be.. i'd have to go off my medications.. *sigh* *grrrr* *evil glare* for me, my meds were my godsend. i skipped a pill and my day was ruined. picture peeing razorblades.. yes that would be the best description of IC.. there was no way i could just STOP taking them. but God allowed this lil ball of chromosomes to form when He did, so He can handle whatever "issues" that would occur through this journey..

i left the office that day worried yet so stinkinnnn excited thinking of how i was going to tell roger that night.. the kind of 'stinkinnnn excited' you get when you can feel the cells moving through your arms and legs and crawling under every inch of your skin..

when i got the results of my hcg levels my crazy hype went to a new level.. i WAS PREGOOOO BABY...

roger came home from work that night..same old small talk about how are days were, what we did, where we went.. i was making scallops and shrimp soaked in butter smothered over wheat spaghetti with this huge, massive, cornball smile on my face.. i knew i couldn't contain this information for long so while he took a shower i did some artwork..

not the neatest lil doodling but its mega hard to write on your belly in the mirror and it did the job...

rog came into the bedroom eager to get some grub and get to our movie and some cuddle time after a long day.. i couldn't hold it in, couldn't keep that cheesy 'i'm hiding something' grin off my face..

"open this letter and take off my shirt babers"

                 that statement was met with a smile and when he proceeded to lift my shirt that smile grew..a smile and that shine in someones eyes that you can't explain with words..

he held me like he's never held me before and tears filled his eyes..

i'm giving my baby a babyyyyyy...

with all the excitement and happiness, who would've thought that just a week later there would be tears of a different kind....